Life is Good

Part of last week was really frustrating for me. I had so much to do and very little time to do it in. Plus I had a lot of other things on my mind.

Starting on Thursday my week just got so much better. I did pretty well on a test, I followed some amazing advice from a friend, I got my paper written, and I attended the Relief Society broadcast. These all happened over the course of a few days. I love this church and I'm glad that I have never had any reason to doubt my beliefs.

The last few days I can't but being happy and smiling all the time. Life is still tough and I still have a lot to do but there is so much to live for in life that I want to be happy about life.

I'm so excited for General Conference that is coming this weekend. My parents got me tickets to attend a session of conference on Saturday. I am so excited to go! I love hearing the prophets speak. It is so wonderful and I am so grateful to be living so close to Salt Lake when conference comes around.

Life is Good. Period. I'm still not getting as much sleep as I'd like but I've made it my goal to go to bed earlier this week. Wish me luck and we'll see how it goes. I heard this once: Never stop smiling because you have no idea who is falling in love with your smile. I think that is just one good reason to smile so keep on smiling.



I don't have much else to say except that I have been happy lately and I like it. Being happy is so much better then being frustrated with life so I'm gonna continue to try and be happy. Life will sometimes be hard and I realize that but I'm going to try and see the bright side of things.

Sleep

Rewind to last school year: I was getting a very adequate amount of sleep. I was very good at going to bed by 10:30 and then getting up around 6:30 or 7:00 the next morning. I went to bed early last year and my classes started a little bit later. I didn't feel tired or stressed all the time.

Fast forward to the present. On average I go to bed after midnight most of the time. I'm super stressed out about all the papers and assignments that I have to do. Plus I have an exam today that I don't know how I'll do on. I'm so tired!!! It's hard to concentrate when you're exhausted. Yesterday was a long day and today will be another long day.

I'm just a little frustrated with life today. I have a lot to do and very little time to do it in. This morning in my half awake state as I dragged myself out of bed I decided there are some questions that I have been afraid to ask but I am going to go ahead and ask them and see what happens. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage to just ask a question or have a conversation.

Playing games can be fun for a time but after a while it gets old. I'm sick and tired of playing games. So I pose a question: why do people play games if no body likes them? I've always wondered why and I really want an answer. Why play games if no body likes them? Maybe I'll never know the answer but we'll see.

I know this sounds very pessimistic and I apologize. I'm not looking for anyone's pity or anything like that. I just needed to put my thoughts out there. From now on I'm going to try and have a more positive outlook on life. Yesterday I read a talk given by Elder Richard G. Scott given in 1996. There were a couple of things that stuck out to me that gave me some comfort. I'll share a quote from him that I really liked.

"I often interview strong priesthood leaders. When these men speak of their wives, it is with deep tenderness and obvious appreciation. Often, tears flow. Their comments include “She is more spiritual, purer, and more committed than I,” “She motivates me to be a better person,” “She is the strength of my life,” and “I couldn’t do it without her.” As a woman, please don’t judge how worthwhile, needed, and loved you are by our inept ability to express our true feelings. Your divinely conferred trait of giving of self without counting the cost leads you to underestimate your own worth."

"Generally you have no idea of how truly wonderful and capable you are, how very much appreciated and loved, or how desperately needed, for most men don’t tell you as completely and as often as needed." (Elder Richard G. Scott, Ensign November 1996, The Joy of Living the Great Plan of Happiness)

I'm sad to say that there are many times when I think I'm not good enough or wonderful enough or awesome enough for the people around me. I have roommates that tell me that's not true and I know I'm wrong when I think that way. Elder Scott gave me a very firm reminder that I am good enough. Just because people don't tell me that I'm worth it doesn't mean I'm not. I'm know I'm worth it and I know somebody else will realize it too when the time is right. I think right now I just need a few extra prayers for everything that I have on my plate. If nothing else, each of you can pray for me to get through everything I need to do.

I love you all and I just want to let each and everyone one of you that you are appreciated, loved, and very much needed.

Crazy Days

I want to start with an apology to anyone who has been around me lately. I have been acting extremely crazy. I'm sorry!! But I think everyone needs to act crazy sometimes. But I think it's ok to be crazy if there are others that are crazy with you.

The last week or so has been pretty good. I'm finally getting back into the swing of school, I think. I'm still trying to find time for everything but I'll get there one day :) On Sunday I made some taco soup and it was yummy. I've been having soup all week and it's been good. I really like soup :)

I'm also glad it's the weekend. I like going to school but it is also nice to have a break from going to class and work.

I think part of the reason I'm being so crazy is that I'm not getting enough sleep every night. It's kinda funny. I know I should go to sleep earlier but by the time I;m done with my homework I want to be social and then sleep is what gives. Oh, well. That's just college life. Maybe one day I'll learn.

All in all, I'm a happy girl. And I've been having a few good days recently. Life is good. Always try to be grateful for what you have. I know I am. If I'm acting too crazy just let me know and maybe I can tone it down a little. I'm not making any promises but maybe...:)

And so it begins...

I think it was last weekend that some people were bugging me that I never keep my blog updated so here it is. It's been a crazy busy couple of weeks and I'm pretty sure it will only get busier and busier as the weeks progress.

I successfully made it through the first week of my last fall semester as an undergrad at BYU. Yay!! It will be hard though so we'll see what happens in the coming weeks. A lot of people have told me I'm crazy for what I have going on but such is life. Right now I'm taking 16 credit hours of classes, working part time, and soon I will be starting to help with a research project one of my professors is conducting so I'll be staying pretty busy.

Oh classes. Right now I'm taking Cross Cultural Human & Family Development, Infant Development in the Family, Marriage Prep, LDS Temples, Intro to Social Work, and Intro to Sociology. It's all a little bit crazy and sometimes I don't know what is going on.

Hopefully I can just buckle down and get to work and still have time for fun because that is important as well. I'm just not feeling in the mood to be in school. I don't know if it's senioritis or what but I'm just not ready to be back at it.

I also got my calling changed in my ward a little bit. Instead of being in charge of FHE AND activities now I just get to do FHE. Problem: I don't have a co-chair to help me out yet though. Maybe on Sunday...we'll see.

I hope everyone is enjoying life and being back at school or whatever they are doing.

Ponderings

My last post was kind of a vent post. I'm doing fine and I have had several conversations with several people that have made me realize my life isn't as bad as I sometimes think it is. I have so many blessings and so many things to be grateful for.

First of all, I am so grateful for having family close by that can help me out if they are able. Second, I am so glad that I have been doing well enough in school to get a scholarship. A few months back I was worried about being able to pay for school this year and then I found out that I was awarded a scholarship so I don't have to worry about that one.

I can't even begin to list the numerous things that have gone my way lately. There have been hard things too but I realized that is how the Lord tries us: by giving us hard things and seeing how we respond to them. Timing is the key to everything. A lot of the time we want everything to work out in our time, according to our plans. But that is not how our Heavenly Father works. He will send us different things in our lives when he knows it is best for us. We have to trust in his time and know that everything will work out for the best. Life would be so much easier if we were just given a schedule or calendar of when every thing was going to happen in our lives wouldn't it? But I guess that's why there's that trial of faith that is talked about in Ether 12:6.

Anyways, I just wanted to say that life is pretty good right now. This summer went by so fast for me. I've just finished up my internship and about 3 weeks ago I started training for my job that I'm going to have in the fall. So I've been pretty busy. I'm excited for my little vacation that I'm taking to California to visit my family. I am way excited but will miss all my friends in Provo. You guys rock!!

Friendships & Frustrations

It's been a long while since I've posted a blog. I apologize to my dear, dear, dear reads. Life has been super busy and other things have taken priority. Tonight I was just feeling a little down and I needed a way to vent my frustrations so here it is. I'm sorry if this sounds like a pity party but this is just how I am feeling so if you don't want to read about it please don't continue.

Sometimes it's easier for me to just type my frustrations here where I don't have to listen to others input at the time I am feeling it. I'm sorry if you feel I'm unloading on you but I guess everybody needs to do that sometimes. Oh well.

For a while now I feel like I'm kind of stuck in a rut. I go to work and I come home. Yeah I do lots of different things on the weekends and I stay busy but I just don't feel like I'm developing relationships that will last me through the rest of my life. I guess what it gets down to is boys. Stupid boys. -sigh- I just feel like whenever I start getting to know somebody knew they always play the "we're friends only" card. And I'm okay with that most of the time. But there just comes a point when it's too hard to handle anymore.

When I was a little bit younger, I thought I'd be married by the time I was 21. But I'm not and there aren't any prospects of it happening anytime soon. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with being single but I'd like to at least be thought of like girl and not just "my friend" by the guys that I know.

Lately, I've been trying to be a better person because I tend to be a little mean and sarcastic where boys are concerned. I even had a friend ask my roommate if I even liked him as a person at all. When I found that out I was a little crushed. I think I'm little bit too much like my dad. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut sometimes or most times as the case maybe. I also tend to be a little sensitive when people say things to me sometimes and I'm trying so hard to work on that. But it's a work in progress.

I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me I just needed to vent for a minute. Sometimes a girl just feels like crying and that's how I'm feeling right now. But I don't want to. I don't like crying in front of people because they ask what's wrong and I don't want to explain that nothing is really wrong. Just that I'm feeling down.

Thanks for reading. I'm sorry if this was a downer on your day. I really do apologize. I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head. Much love to all my faithful readers and friends. Love ya!

Happiness in a Classy Black Number

Ladies and gents I am not talking about some nice black article of clothing but about my new (well new to me) car! She is so pretty and very classy looking. I recently purchased (by purchased I mean my parents purchased) a 2004 black Hyundai Sonata. The inside is so pretty! It's tan leather interior . It has a sun roof and a CD player. Everything is automatic: transmission, windows, mirrors, doors, seats, everything! It is so awesome and I am so excited for the freedom that my own car will provide. It's a little scary because the car is actually mine. It's in my name and everything. Every time I drive it I'm afraid something bad is going to happen and I will total my car and then I will have flushed lots of money down the drain. Hopefully I will get over this fear soon. Utah drivers just make me extremely nervous...

On a lighter note I just want to mention my new favorite song by Taylor Swift. It's called White Horse. I've included it here for your convenience so you should check it out. It's kind of a sad song but I love it a lot. One reason I love it so much is that I danced last night to this song with one amazing guy who we will call Beautiful so as not to mention any names. He's probably the coolest guy I've ever met. It made me so happy to dance with him. Ok now I'm done with my girly moment but just thought I'd let you know what's up.



P.S. Pictures of my car will be coming shortly. I just haven't had time to take any/post them. Much love!