The last couple of weeks (well month, actually) I have been extremely stressed out at my job. Way more stressed out than I think I've ever been at my job whatsoever. Let's just say that I was hating my job & hating the things that were happening around me and I didn't have the best attitude. I was overly emotional and I don't think I was being the kind of leader that my team needed me to be.
Wow...that's a little depressing. But the story gets a better. Promise.
Thursday night I stopped by manager's office to tell him something and he asked me if I was alright. For those of you who know me, you probably know that my face is practically an open book and my emotions are always written on my face. Let's just say that when I told him I was fine he didn't believe me and told me to sit down so we could talk about what was bothering me.
Almost immediately after sitting down I started balling for absolutely no reason other than I was super stressed out. The first thing he said was "man, I can't find my kleenix." We talked for at least a half hour about everything that had me stressed out. The conclusion that we came to was I was spreading myself too thing and trying to do things that I thought were my job when I should be focusing on the stuff that the managers and directors want me to focus on.
I felt so dumb just sitting there crying like a little girl but I had been so emotional the last week because I felt like whenever I went to a meeting I was being told that I wasn't doing my job well enough or being good enough. I felt so much anxiety when I went to work everyday and I felt that at any given moment I was going to be shown the door.
Luckily, all of those feelings are gone. I feel good about my job and I don't feel like I suck at my job anymore. I just had to let it all go. I realized that a lot of the stuff that I was stressed about were things that I didn't need to worry about. I also realized that even though I get so many emails every single day. I don't need to constantly be at my computer to look at them & I don't need to be constantly answering them either. It's okay if a little time goes by before they are taken care of. Ya know? Just with that knowledge I think my stress level went down.
After my little meeting, my boss had me just take a little break, get drink, and take a little walk outside before going back to work. Let's just say that after I've cried I have the reddest, puffiest eyes ever so I didn't exactly look like I was okay but it is what it is. One of the supervisors I work with took one look at me and asked me "okay, who do I need to beat up?" I love the guys that I work with. They always take care of me whether it's listening to me rant and rave about something that's bothering me or being the overprotective big brother type.
My new quote to live by: "Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." - Abraham Lincoln
So I'll just decide to be happy and so I shall be. Happy & stress free. Thanks, Chuckles, you made my week & put everything in perspective for me. Thanks for being the best boss a girl could ask for.