job!!!!

After months of searching and tons of interviews and applications I found a job. This morning I had an interview with APX Alarm. I thought it went okay but nothing special. About an hour after my interview they called me to offer me the position. I start training on Monday. I'm excited to finally be working again. It's not my dream job but it's something for me to be doing while I figure out if I still want to go to grad school and while I try to find a job in my field. It will be great to not have to worry about money for a while. I'm so excited because I thought I was going to have to move home if I couldn't find a job before the summer was over. Now I don't have to and I can stay right here in Provo where I have lots of friends and people who I have become really close to. Thank you so much to all of you who have prayed for me and hoped for me in my job search. You have no idea how much I appreciate you.

Visitors

Having old friends that you don't see very often come visit you can be the greatest thing ever. Last night, my dear friend Morgan Anderson came by to visit me. And she brought me a can of soup!! Haha, that made me laugh on the inside. One, because it's thoughtful. And two, soup used to be an inside joke between me and my roommate, Anna Cluff Dixon. Oh those were the good days, haha.

Sometimes just having someone stop by your apartment unexpectedly can be exactly the thing that you need in your life. It's fun to go visit others but it can be really nice that for a change someone stops by to see you. I love old and new friends. It's great to catch up and remember by why you were friends in the first place.

Also, on a random note. I love Psych. I watched it last night with some good friends of mine and it was so much fun. I kept looking for the pineapple but I couldn't find it and that made me a little sad. Maybe next time...

The other day I helped a friend of mine (Jenny) decorate an apartment with glow sticks. At our ward talent show Jenny and some others in the ward did this fantastic glow stick dance and there where lots of glowsticks afterwards. So we tapped them up on 2 boys doors spelling out nice messages. On apt 106 we wrote "You Rock" and on apt 112 we wrote "I love you." Next, we went back to apt 106 because we wanted them to come out and look at it. We knocked really loudly and Eric finally came out and looked at it. He thought it was really cool. So we went into his apartment and decorated the inside walls to spell out each of their names as well as "We love 106". It was pretty much of the funnest things I've done all week. And it looked so cool!!!

I guess this post is a little weird and a little random with me jumping all over the place with different topics but that happens sometimes.

Frustration Building

I find that I am getting increasingly frustrated with the direction my life is going. In the fact that my life really isn't going much of anywhere and I don't know what to do. Every time I get close to thinking I'm getting a job it just doesn't work out for me and the disappointment is hard to face. A company that I really wanted to work for looked really promising. I had 3 different interviews with them but a few weeks ago they called me and told they decided to hire someone else. A program that I applied to work for at the library didn't even select me for an interview.

Sometimes I just want to scream. The disappointments just keep on coming in and I'm finding it hard to stay positive. I've liked actually loved my college experience. But what now? What does one do after college and they don't know what to do or where to go in life?

Sometimes I wish I could rewind the clock to a simpler time. To a time when all I had to worry about was what I got on my math test and getting my chores done so I could go outside and play. I guess it doesn't do any good to look back at the past because life will never be that simple every again. Things just continue to get more complicated, complex, and difficult as you get older.

More and more, I keep thinking I want to get out of here. I like living in Utah. I'm not saying that I don't but I keep feeling that it's time to move on to somewhere new. Maybe another town, I don't know. But I don't know if that's gonna happen anytime soon because I made the mistake of signing a contract for the next fall and winter for where I live now. I did that when I thought I was going to grad school and I had a 2 year plan on the horizon. I want to go somewhere knew so that maybe I have the chance of not being constantly overlooked. I don't know if that's the truth but lately that's how it feels to me.

I'm really sorry if this is a downer to read. I'm not looking for pity at all. I just needed to express what I have been feeling recently and this is how I found that I could express everything I was feeling without being interrupted. I know that I am loved by all and that my life is nearly as dramatic and horrible as I make it out to be but sometimes it helps to vent a little and let it all out.