Frustration Building

I find that I am getting increasingly frustrated with the direction my life is going. In the fact that my life really isn't going much of anywhere and I don't know what to do. Every time I get close to thinking I'm getting a job it just doesn't work out for me and the disappointment is hard to face. A company that I really wanted to work for looked really promising. I had 3 different interviews with them but a few weeks ago they called me and told they decided to hire someone else. A program that I applied to work for at the library didn't even select me for an interview.

Sometimes I just want to scream. The disappointments just keep on coming in and I'm finding it hard to stay positive. I've liked actually loved my college experience. But what now? What does one do after college and they don't know what to do or where to go in life?

Sometimes I wish I could rewind the clock to a simpler time. To a time when all I had to worry about was what I got on my math test and getting my chores done so I could go outside and play. I guess it doesn't do any good to look back at the past because life will never be that simple every again. Things just continue to get more complicated, complex, and difficult as you get older.

More and more, I keep thinking I want to get out of here. I like living in Utah. I'm not saying that I don't but I keep feeling that it's time to move on to somewhere new. Maybe another town, I don't know. But I don't know if that's gonna happen anytime soon because I made the mistake of signing a contract for the next fall and winter for where I live now. I did that when I thought I was going to grad school and I had a 2 year plan on the horizon. I want to go somewhere knew so that maybe I have the chance of not being constantly overlooked. I don't know if that's the truth but lately that's how it feels to me.

I'm really sorry if this is a downer to read. I'm not looking for pity at all. I just needed to express what I have been feeling recently and this is how I found that I could express everything I was feeling without being interrupted. I know that I am loved by all and that my life is nearly as dramatic and horrible as I make it out to be but sometimes it helps to vent a little and let it all out.