Clarity

I've had one of the worst weeks that I've had in a long, long time. It seemed that if something could go wrong it would. To use the terminology of a friend of mine: I got shot in both knees and the shoulder all at once.

I had to fire 2 people (both in one day), put 4 people on warnings, my second in command got a promotion (go him!), and the guy I wanted as his replacement I couldn't hire. Oh, did I mention that I'm being forced to move out of my apartment too? And the time frame that I was originally given to move? The week that I'm in New York. Could things get any worse?

So not only did I have to do my regular job but I also had to do a bunch of interviews and start packing up my apartment. Great....

And to top it all off, I started crying 2 different times at work this week. Being a girl stinks sometimes. I was in a meeting with my boss on Thursday and then on Friday was having a talk with my lead supervisor. I guess the emotional/stressful week just took it's toll on me.

During my meeting with my boss we didn't talk about work or my performance in my job. He had no feedback for me because he said I know how to do my job better than every other supervisor he has. That's good, I guess, but sometimes it's nice to hear about something you can do better at. He asked me some hard questions that I didn't know how to answer.

"What do you want out of life?"
"What's your 5 year plan?"
"What makes you happy?"
"What would you do if your job here disappeared?"

I don't know why these questions had such an impact on me but they did. I didn't have an answer to give him and that made me feel horrible and started crying like a little girl. I don't do that ever, let alone at work.

On Friday on the way home from work I still didn't have an answer to those questions and I seem to be questioning every move I make. So yet again, I started crying. My weekend assignment: think about what I want out of life and the near future and read a book called "Drive" by Daniel Pink.

I don't know if I've found what I want out of life but this is what's helped me be a little more calm and not so emotional:

The temple is an amazing place. Today I was able to go to the Draper temple for the first time. The temple is beautiful and has such a calming serenity about it. I have been able to put things in a better perspective than it was even a few hours ago. I shed a few tears while there but they weren't tears of confusion but tears of knowing that someone has a plan for my life even if I'm not sure what it is. I'm going to continue to do some soul searching to figure out what I want out of life and what I want to look forward to so we'll see where that takes me.

New Layout!!

I've had the same layout on my blog forever!!! I figured it was time for a facelift since spring is coming. Enjoy.

"He is not here: for He is Risen"

I couldn't imagine a more beautiful Easter Sunday afternoon. It's been a beautiful day to reflect on the many blessings that I have. Today I had the opportunity to sing with my ward choir. We sang a song that before a few weeks ago I had never heard before. It's found in the Hymnal on page 198 "That Easter Morn". It has a beautiful message and it really made me thing of the reason behind we really celebrate Easter every year. Check it out here

Every year as I get older it seems that I get more and more excited to hear the words of modern day prophets and apostles when conference comes around twice a year. I am so excited for he upcoming conference next weekend. Downside? I have to work next Sunday so I'll have to catch up on Sunday's sessions during the week. Originally I had to work Saturday too but someone needed a trade for this last Saturday so I am lucky enough to not have to work both days of conference.

Something that I have been thinking about alot lately is Standing in Holy Places. That is this year's YM/YW theme and it's the topic that my Bishop taught on today during the third hour of church. I did a lot of thinking and standing in a holy place doesn't necessarily have to be a place. Weird I know but it's true. The more I think about standing in holy places it seems to be it's the things I'm doing with my life and the people that I choose to have in my life. Last year when I was preparing to go to the temple for the first time I realized that I had some friends that weren't the best influences in my life. They are good guys but not the kind of people I should choose to spend my time with. I stopped hanging out with them as much and I noticed a huge change in my life. The spirit was much stronger in my life and there wasn't as much negativity. I love those guys and I know I count on them if I ever need anything but it's such a testimony to me after going through that experience that I know that the people you have in your life truly can have a huge impact on the choices and decisions you make in your life and that's one of the reasons why I choose to stop being around them. I needed to do it for me. Because I needed something more and something better in my life.

This video perfectly depicts how I feel this Easter Sunday and the things that we should really celebrate. I know my Father lives and I know that it was a sacrifice what Jesus did for every person on this Earth. If you ever feel that no one understands what you have gone through or are going through. our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has been there and understands what you are going through. That is the whole purpose of the Atonement. We could never individually be perfect. That's why we have a Savior that was there to take the pain and suffering in our behalf.

Basketball Goals?

So earlier this week I was spazzing out and stressing over some stuff at work (surprise, surprise) and I was talking to my boss. He told me that I just needed to calm down and take things in stride. He then proceeded to shoot some baskets into a basketball hoop that we have hanging around for our March Madness Competition. He made 3 different baskets and before shooting each one made a statement that if he made the next shot then something would happen:

Basket #1: If I make this shot then we'll meet our performance goal this month - He made this shot
Basket #2: If I makes this shot then you (meaning me) will start my own department at work and become the manager of said department - He made this shot too
Basket #3: If I makes this shot then you (again meaning me) will be married in the next 12 months - you guess it, he made this shot to

So apparently I'm going to open my own department and get married this year. I thought it was kinda funny so I thought I'd share. Also, since I'm getting married I told Jordan (my boss) that he needed to find me a man to marry. He then proceeded to give me the names of 2 different people to email at work. Oh geez. Jordan's got marriage on the brain or something. Haha. 

Pre-Summer Trip?

I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just decided that I'm taking a pre-summer vacation. April 29th-May 4th I will be in New York City with my brother Jacob and my sister in law Nicole. I've never been to NYC before and I'm so excited for all the awesome things we're going to do and see while there. Not a lot of planning has been done yet but I'm stoked to plan our trip. Best part: I found plane tickets round trip for under $400. Win? I think so. This was all made possible by an awesome boss he gave me some time off. Yes!

Happy Spring

It's been a while since I had a craft day so a few weeks ago I decided it was time. I didn't have a wreath for spring time and I made one on the hopes that the weather would warm up. As it happens, it's been beautiful the last few weeks and I have been loving it!! It was warm enough (40-50 degrees) that I wore shorts or a skirt every day last week to work. I know, I know, 40 degree weather isn't what you traditionally think of as warm but when you've had a winter that's been mostly in the negatives your definition of warm changes.

Valentine's Day?

For those of you who know me, you should know (shame on you if you don't) that I hate Valentine's Day. And no, it's not because I'm single. I have a legitimate reason why I don't like the "holiday". I think it's stupid that how much you love someone is measured by what you do for them on February 14th. In reality, if you really love someone you should show them that every day (not through gifts and cards and candy) but by how you treat them on a daily basis.

Well, I had kind of an interesting day. I started out the day by wanting to gag from all of the Valentine's day stuff I saw on my Instagram and Facebook feeds. Ick. Then I get the following text message from a cute boy: "Happy Valentine's Day. :-)" It kinda made my day.

Then when I got to work this is what I found:

Someone heart attacked my desk and I have no idea who. I really what to know who it was. I thought it was this one kid because he knows I hate Valentine's day but he told me it was like that when he got into work. I'll probably never know. 

Something else I got on Valentine's day was my Christmas present. My mom made a quilt but it wasn't finished at Christmas so she finished it up in January and sent to be with someone that was going into the MTC. I also didn't get it because they called me on the day they were leaving while I was at work. Luckily, I just gave them my address and they dropped the box off at my apartment because they couldn't come to work to give it to me. I love it!! It's so pretty. The picture doesn't do  it justice at all.